Thank God someone can see things from my side.
Thank you, Jimi, for your excellent response to my newest Creepshow Blog entry, in which I talk about the worst creeper I’ve ever had to talk to. Here’s what Jimi said about the creeper I wrote about. I really think more people will understand my viewpoint after reading Jimi’s reasoning:
I don’t know that calling the [creeper] “inexperienced” quite makes up for that kind of behavior. I was inexperienced for a long time. I can count the number of relationships I’ve had on one hand, if that gives you an idea.
Sure, I’ve done my share of some stupid shit to try to impress girls in the past, but my miscues, misreads and mistakes are pretty small beer compared to this [creeper]. Multiple unsolicited texts over the course of an evening? Thinking that buying coffee is a free pass to do or say whatever you want? Showing up unannounced at women’s houses? This is bonafide creepster territory. I’d go so far as to say it’s eerily close to textbook psychopathic behavior. He’s being told that his advances are unwelcome, he recognizes that his actions are incompatible with social norms, and he doesn’t care.
In any case, keep it up. A lot of women think they have no choice but to go through life putting up with this crap. A lot of men think their historical social roles give them a divine mandate to have their way with women. If you manage to persuade even one person otherwise with this blog, I’d say it was worth it.
I’m not crazy, and I’m not cold for being a strong enough person to say this is wrong.
It’s all started with one creeper…
Be sure to read my latest entry in my Creepshow Watch Blog. This new story is actually the reason why I created the blog to begin with.
I talk about the bigger creeper I’ve ever met, and it all took place over a year ago. Thankfully, I’ve had more than twelve months to absorb the incident, and I’d like to think I’m more mature now than I was back then, so I can analyze the situation with a clean slate, tabula rasa mindset. I know that I made a mistake, all thanks to my “small town naïveté” and admitted stupidity at times.
As I’ve said countless times in my Creepshow Blog, I’ve been hassled and criticized for being “too mean” and “harsh” on these “misunderstood” guys. All right, well, let’s look at what these guys did to me and my friends:
*When I repeatedly told a classmate that no, I was no interested in dating him, he made an extremely inappropriate, uncalled for reference to my genitalia. Yeah, that’s not creepy at all! I bet he was just misunderstood. Or he was just a sexist sociopath.
*There was also the sports coach who said he would only talk to my friend’s classroom of students under the condition that she repay him in sexual favors. Was he also misunderstood?
*What about the 29-year-old married-with-children guy who got really angry after he unsuccessfully tried forcing Patron on me for more than five minutes, especially after I’d spent the last half hour saying I had the swine flu and was too sick to even be at the party we were at? Was he also misunderstood?
*What about the man in Paris who spanked my friend as he biked past her, humiliating her in front of all the surrounding Parisians?
*What about the other man in Paris who squeezed another friend’s behind when she was walking on the street, and she was too afraid to strike him because he was muscular and burly? Is he misunderstood or just taking advantage?!
*What about the man on the Paris Metro who told me that he wanted to sit on my lap, and when I finally moved away from him, he pulled me back down in my chair and grabbed my shoulder, all the while dozens of other grown men watched in apathy? Was my harasser, along with his cowardice fellow Parisians, misunderstood? No, not one bit.
The point, ladies and gentlemen, is that it’s unacceptable for men to approach women in such a foul manner without suffering the consequences. Call me judgmental all you want, and it’s only the men out there who have expressed any negativity towards me with regards to this blog. If you think I’m mean, you try being sexually harassed, and then tell me how you like it.
Newest entry in Creepshow blog
A 300-pound drunk man refused to leave my front porch this morning. Read the entry in the Creepshow Watch Blog!
What an awesome justice system the Greek Standards Board is…
Wildcat report on the Phi Psi hearing:
The Greek Standards Board has found the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity not responsible for the theft of 10,000 Daily Wildcat newspapers on Oct. 8, according to the board’s official final report released on Friday afternoon.
In its final report, the Greek Standards Board outlined several reasons for its decision.
Information that worked against the Daily Wildcat during judicial deliberation included incidents surrounding the Spanish homework found among a pile of thousands of the stolen newspapers on West Anklam Road on Oct. 9.
Given that Daily Wildcat employees found the stolen newspapers, the board decided the evidence did not show the fraternity was responsible for the theft.
Instead of in an official court of law where the defendant must be proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, Daily Wildcat representatives were only charged with the task of showing the fraternity more likely than not responsible for the theft, according to official Greek Standards Board procedures.
The final report also cites Phi Kappa Psi’s police report issued to the University of Arizona Police Department on Oct. 9, where the fraternity claims that “Phi Kappa Psi members saw individuals going through their trash can.”
4:30 p.m. update — The Dean of Students office contacted the Daily Wildcat on Friday to ask staff members if they could testify in the newspaper theft case.
—
Although the fraternity said the incident occurred on the night of Oct. 8 or the morning of Oct. 9, police records show that Phi Kappa Psi members did not call the police until 3:46 p.m., well after the Daily Wildcat reported finding the homework of Phi Kappa Psi members Alex Cornell and Nick Kovaleski at the scene of the stolen newspapers.
The Greek Standards Board hearing testimony of Advertising Manager Mike Spohn was also questioned in the board’s final report.
Spohn testified that he saw three individuals loading Daily Wildcat newspapers into a tan Toyota Camry on Oct. 8 around 8 a.m.
The board’s final report noted that the vehicle associated with the theft was never officially linked to Phi Kappa Psi and that the three men were not officially identified as belonging to the fraternity.
Also noted in the report was that “only three men were ever seen taking copies of the Daily Wildcat,” a finding proven false by witnesses who saw other individuals in a black car stealing newspapers on the morning of Oct. 8, information Daily Wildcat representatives expressed to the Greek Standards Board at the official hearing held on Wednesday.
The board also stated as a reason for its ruling that “the Daily Wildcat stated that Phi Kappa Psi fraternity never denied involvement in the issue” while presenting in the final report that the fraternity did deny involvement in an interview with Fraternity and Sorority Programs on Oct. 8 and also denied involvement in a letter sent to the Greek Standards Board prior to the hearing.
Daily Wildcat representatives never claimed Phi Kappa Psi leadership denied involvement, but rather that they had never denied involvement to the Daily Wildcat, according to written transcripts of the Greek Standards Board hearing that featured both Phi Kappa Psi and Daily Wildcat leadership.
The board found the two e-mails entered into evidence as showing Phi Kappa Psi responsible for the theft as unreliable, finding that in one case, the sender’s “account could not be considered without the ability to question her in person,” the final report said.
The other e-mail sender, mathematics freshman Brennan Vincent, submitted a letter to the Greek Standards Board stating his intentions regarding his e-mail message had been misconstrued, according to the report.
“He wrote in his letter that he had implicated Phi Kappa Psi in his letter only because he didn’t believe the Daily Wildcat would print a letter where he solely stated that the reporting of the Daily Wildcat was irresponsible,” the report said.
Cross Examiniation:Cross examination questioning of Daily Wildcat Managing Editor Shain Bergan by Phi Kappa Psi President Keith Peters:
Peters: It was stated that your director and Michael Spohn went out looking for the newspapers. Was there anybody else with them when they discovered they were missing?
Bergan: I believe it was just Mike and (Arizona Student Media Director) Mark (Woodhams) walking around. Obviously they were able to cover a lot of ground between the two of them.
Peters: OK, it was already stated by (Production Manager) Fred Smith that it takes his guys over an hour by truck, with two of them, to drive to 100 stands. What was the timeline like before they found out that all of the Wildcats were missing? Because you reported it to be around 9 a.m., and I just don’t understand how two people can walk to 100 stands around campus that it takes two men to drive over an hour.
Bergan: Well, we had other students calling in and telling us that papers were missing around stands around campus. And readers too, and readers were leaving comments online like, “Do you know you have no papers out on campus?” So, obviously it’s going to take less time for two guys to run out and check out a bunch of stands than it is for a couple of people to go out, jump out, grab a bunch of Wildcats, throw them in the car, somehow evade detection from everybody else and then drive away.
Peters: So are you saying these two guys did not actually visit all 100 stands to check for the Daily Wildcats?
Bergan: Did Mike and Mark cover all of the stands? Just on campus, or—?” I don’t know if they visited every single one of them.
Peters: So would it be possible that students actually took the Wildcat to read?
Bergan: By 9 a.m.?
Peters: By some—at least some, if not most, of those stands?
Bergan: No, that never happens. This is all very immaterial.
Peters: OK
Bergan: That would’ve had to be a fucking kickass issue, though.
Peters: So how many stands do you think they could’ve visited in that timeframe, in an hour or less than an hour?
Bergan: Are you asking me to speculate?
Peters: Yes, to the best of your ability.
Bergan: I don’t know if I can speculate. I’m not them. I didn’t see them. I got up when they sent me an e-mail around 9:00 saying that all our papers were stolen.
Peters: Sure, OK. I guess this question might not seem like it pertains to the case, but if I asked you right now if you wanted to go to Gentle Ben’s after this, and you said, “No, I don’t want to go there,” would you think that would be a correct response?
Bergan: Are you asking if I want to go to Gentle Ben’s with you?
Peters: I just need a simple yes or no.
Bergan: I’d probably ask you why you stole all my newspapers.
Peters: Would you think that that—Can I have an actual answer?
Bergan: Would I go to Gentle B—I don’t understand. I don’t understand.
Chief Justice Jimmy Grout to Bergan: Please answer the question.
Peters: Would saying, “I don’t want to go there,” referring to Gentle Bens as—would that be a proper response? Would you use that response? Would you say that is reasonable to say that?
Bergan: (Kovaleski) didn’t say “there”. He said “out there”. This is the western outskirts of Tucson where these papers were. Obviously he said “out there” because he knew where he had dumped some of them.
Peters: I’m just asking for a yes or no.
Bergan: I might say, “Yeah, I’ll go there with you.” I might not say “out there”.
Peters: OK.
On the Cactus Moon Cafe & Nightclub in Tucson, AZ
Read my essay that I had to write for my Creative Non-Fiction class-It’s on the Cactus Moon Nightclub. Some names have been changed by request and to protect the privacy of commentators. In case you have no idea what “creative non-fiction writing” is, this is a pretty decent example of something in that category. Enjoy:
The New York Times calls the Cactus Moon Cafe a “large and glitzy nightclub.” I wouldn’t use “glitzy” to describe the country, cowboy-themed club. The lack of anything “glitzy” is the reason I like the Cactus Moon so much. Club Planet had a better choice of words in its review of the Cactus Moon, which they consider “a hybrid of both trendy-club and swank-lounge. Get there early and stay late; it’s the kind of place where you can have an amazing drinks and then stay for the nightlife.”
There’s no real dress code. For someone like me who hated having to wear high heels at the Las Vegas clubs Pearl and Tao, the casual dress environment at Cactus Moon is a real draw. This isn’t Los Angeles, New York City, or Las Vegas. It’s Tucson, and there’s no need to don designer clothing at the Cactus Moon.
I go to Cactus Moon almost every Wednesday, which is Ladies Night. From 8-10pm, drinks are $.25 cents for women. From 10pm-2am, drinks are $1.25 for ladies. “That’s sketchy,” joked Kara in class, and I tend to agree. Regardless, students typically jump at any opportunity to get reasonably priced drinks, especially at a club like Cactus Moon with a cover charge.
I generally go to Cactus Moon with my friend Ashley, who is a dance major. She’s my favorite person to frequent the club with because of her amazing dancing skills and appreciation for the cowboy culture.
“The Cactus Moon…like no other bar in Tucson,” Ashley says. “I have the most fun when I go to the Moon over other night clubs, mainly because of the focus on the dance floor and the variety of music. I’m a country girl so naturally that is a highlight for me, and learning to two-step has been a blast. Some experienced two-stepping cowboys have taught me to country dance like a pro. Cactus Moon is also a common stop for touring military, which is often a nice bonus! Despite my sober state when I’m at Cactus Moon, it never fails to be a fun time.”
Ashley doesn’t drink, and I really like that about her. She doesn’t need to get drunk before dancing. I’m the same way, so I almost don’t want to be at the Cactus Moon unless I’m with Ashley, who has pulled me up to dance on the bar and stage more than once. For that, I should be at least a little tipsy.
We went a few weeks ago on Ladies Night, and it was an interesting experience. We arrived at 11:30, and the entire club was packed. Thankfully, we had our friend Matt accompany us, but eventually, he went off to dance with some girl, so we were left alone and vulnerable on the dance floor.
“Do either of you ladies want to dance?” some guy asked.
I pointed at Ashley, and she dragged the guy toward another part of the floor.
This leads me to list the flaws of the Cactus Moon, and my friend John lays out what he views as significant drawbacks to going here, “Cactus Moon may be fun to see once or twice, but it is not a scene I would frequent. There is the issue of distance. Either one needs to stay sober or shell out big for a taxi, no bueno..”
He has a valid point here. Cactus Moon is located on Broadway, so most people have to drive there. It’s kind of a trek for students who live in other parts of Tucson.
“Because of the distance from campus I saw fewer UA kids than I would see at, let’s say, Gentle Ben’s. I go out to have fun, but to also drunkenly bump into people I know. Instead, at the Moon I saw a much different crowd, and definitely more T-locs (Tucson locals). There are middle aged people, older people, and just people our age (21). There is a cover to begin with, most campus bars do not charge one. I mean if ya got nothing better to do on a Wednesday night, maybe… But why not just wait until Thursday with Bens and 4th?”
College students definitely come to the Cactus Moon, but John is correct when he says this nightclub has an older crowd than perhaps O’Malley’s on Fourth Avenue. I have no issue with the older community as long as the older men don’t follow or harass me, and luckily, this hasn’t been a problem.
“There are a lot of cougars preying upon insecure college guys,” said my friend Jenny. The UrbanDictionary defines a cougar as “an older woman who frequents clubs in order to score much younger men.” I’ve seen this a lot at the Cactus Moon, but I have no opinion on the matter.
I do, however, appreciate the friendliness of certain regulars. I’ve seen Al and Sheila on nearly all my Cactus Moon visits.
“I started coming here when I first turned 21,” Sheila, now 36, shared, all the while smiling and holding a cup of jack and coke and a medori sour. “I love this place. My favorite part is that you can develop friendships with the bouncers and workers. We’re like family. Some of my closest friends are from when I first started coming here fifteen years ago.”
Shiela tries to come to the Cactus Moon three nights a week, typically on Tuesdays for Metalhead, Wednesdays for Ladie’s Night, and occasionally on Friday’s. Luckily, her husband hates bars, so he stays home and watches her kids while she goes out.
Another famous regular is Al, an older man who teaches country dancing to anyone willing to try it out. He frequently dances with Ashley, the dance major friend of mine that I referenced earlier. Ashley and Matt once forced me to dance with Al, and the only reason why I denied for two minutes straight was because I’m horrible at step dancing.
“I can teach anyone to dance,” Al said back then. “No one is bad.”
“Some people like golf, some like baseball, my passion is country dancing,” Al said. “I’ve met girls who say they absolutely hate country music, and three days after dancing with me, they say the country dancing unbelievable.”
Al says that he caters to his dancers. “If a girl likes to dance to hip hop music, I mix that in with country. I try to fit the other person’s mode.”
It’s true that he can make even the most insecure of country dancers to appreciate or at least respect what he does. As I said before, I was very adamant about not making a step dancing fool of myself on the dance floor, but Al repeatedly told me to just “watch [his] feet,” and listen to the music. I did, and to my surprise, I didn’t drive him crazy or look like a complete moron.
“The Cactus Moon is really fun,” one customer named Sarah told me later on. “There’s a good balance between country and top 40 music.”
To revert back to the lengthy analysis of the Moon, my friend Dan shares similar thoughts with John, who was critical about various aspects, “Since it’s far away from campus it has a high T-Loc factor. Ladies night is country-dancing themed. Tuesday night has Metalhead’s Tloc following as well as a modest number of college kids rocking out to 3 sets of greatness. Service is typically fast and awesome. Downside is cover charges on those nights. Every other night is probably even more infested with Tlocs than 4th ave.”
Since I can’t possibly distribute a poll to every single Moon attendee in existence, I don’t know about John and Dan’s theory about Cactus Moon being infested with “T-Locs,” but I’ll definitely admit that there are, at times, some peculiar characters here.
Cactus Moon employee, Amanda, knows this all too well.
Amanda is one of the women’s restroom monitors. The bathroom stall doors swing and have no locks, so it’s Amanda’s job to watch the restroom, tell girls which ones are open, and prevent anyone from entering occupied stalls. I’ve seen women walk in on each other before, and there was quite a bit of shrieking.
I approached Amanda on her break, and she was alone by the bar.
“I’m not much of a talker, so the bathroom job is good for me,” she said. I could kind of see this, but she warmed up to me when I’d pause, allowing her time to formulate longer answers to my questions.
“I’m really shy, different,” she went on, smiling all the while.
Regardless, she admits to conversing with customers at times. “Sometimes, they’ll come into the bathroom and just want to sit and talk, escape from someone, or avoid the chaos going on by the dance floor. Or they’re just so drunk that they want to talk,” she said, laughing.
When asked about the craziest thing she’s seen while on duty in the Cactus Moon restroom, she mentioned a young lady with a million piercings. Someone pointed to this woman’s tongue piercing and said it must have hurt. “No, replied the girl,” who pulled up her shirt and revealed her two pierced nipples to three complete strangers, Amanda included. In the end, Amanda said she liked the work.
Kristin, who has been a Cactus Moon bartender for five years, also reported a positive experience of the work environment. “It’s a fun atmosphere, very busy, and it’s good money [for bartenders]. Right now, the British military men are visiting. It’s a slow season but still pretty crazy on certain days of the week, especially Wednesdays and Saturdays.”
Saturdays typically draw an older crowd while Wednesdays bring in the college students, she said.
One Yahoo reviewer recalls, “This place gets too crowded and the only way you can get a drink is to go to one of the back bars (you will only have to wait about 10 minutes in the back).”
On Wednesday’s, it’s common to wait at least ten minutes at the bar without being served. For this reason, I usually go to the Cactus Moon early in the evening and buy drinks before the crowd gets too large. Sometimes, however, I have to do things for my friends.
A couple of weeks ago, I went to Cactus Moon with my friend Anna, who became extremely dehydrated around midnight. All the bars inside were packed, but I needed to get her some water as soon as possible, so I pushed to the front of one of the bars.
“I can tell you how to get free drinks,” a football player-eqsue, hefty man said to me.
“All right!” I said.
“As a gay boy, I feel I can give you the best advice out of everyone here,” he said, his minty, effeminate inflection spilling out.
I immediately got excited. Gay men are my favorite people on earth. They’re the nicest people I’ve ever met. Even so, I wasn’t out to get alcohol that night, and I explained this to my new friend, who managed to get me and Anna two cups of water in less than a minute.
“I bet you’re the party girl out of all your friends here,” he said. “All the others are sitting out, drinking water, and you’re up here laughing!”
“Hardly,” I said. Most strangers find me extremely uptight or extremely wild. I’d say both attributions are accurate. It all depends on what kind of vibes people give me, and I’ll come off as either fun or nervous.
It’s definitely true that there are bizarre people at the Cactus Moon, but these same individuals have come to my rescue, as shown above. This kind of genuine camaraderie is non-existent at the more superficial nightclubs I’ve been to, where I’ve seen girls scream at each other in long bathroom lines and men fight over who arrived at the bar first.
In spite of the cover charges and various other imperfections, the Cactus Moon really is a Tucson specialty. The regulars are personable and memorable, and various other customers are kind and willing to chat.I’ll venture to say the country vibe creates a more relaxed, friendly club scene. I think college students can benefit from the older atmosphere-I really enjoyed my conversations with the non-college crowd, and these individuals remind me that it is possible to go out and have fun after age 21.
Creepshow Alert
This Wildcat article reminds me of my Creepshow Blog!
Campus police have issued an exclusionary order against a man who allegedly repeatedly harassed faculty and staff on campus, effectively barring him from all property owned and controlled by the UA.The man, 48-year-old Carlos David Manrique, allegedly frequented the workplaces of certain faculty members, sent them unwanted e-mails from university computers and violated pre-existing court orders, according to a University of Arizona Police Department press release. Manrique already has two court orders prohibiting harassment and a court order barring him from the campus, the report says, adding that he is known to frequent the Modern Languages and the Main Library computer commons. Exclusionary orders — which can be given only to non-UA affiliated persons like Manrique — last for either six months or one year and can be issued following complaints of harassment, disturbing the peace, misuse of university facilities or a crime, UAPD spokesman Sgt. Juan Alvarez said. UA affiliates accused of similar misdeeds can be referred to the Dean of Students Office, Alvarez said.
Exclusionary orders are rarely issued, Alvarez said. “It’s not something we do all the time,” he said.
Is it surprising that this guy actually bothered me at Espresso Art a few times? That’s my life for you 
Palin Column
What do you know, I tell everyone reading my column to leave Sarah Palin the hell alone! She’s old news, people, move on!!!
Read on
Another Creep Show Update
New Creeper Watch blog entry! Read about the creepshow that creeped on me in Fry’s!
Update on Creepshow Blog
As always, I’m stirring up controversy with my writing. Some readers think I’m being too harsh on creepers/creepy guys/whatever you want to call them in my Creeper Documentation blog, but I don’t think these people are being critical enough of the shrugged off injustice that goes on against women.
So, please check out my newest entry in the Creepshow Blog. Oh, and remember not to make any excuses for creepy men who take advantage of women.
