Laura Donovan's Blog

Just saying hello from Paris! Read more at my Study Abroad blog, which can be found on the blogroll!

Upon reading a Huffington Post column about the ban on gay marriage in California, I scrolled down the page to read the comments and came across a whiny, misguided post by commentator, LeaderofMen:

I’ll make one correction that you overlooked. It wasn’t ‘the people’ of CA that did this. It was the Mormons from UT and the rest of the hyper mythology-oriented (eg, religious) people who did this. With lots of money and tons of lies. Did you ever see the TV ads the fundies put on the air? They were disgusting.

Prop. 8 was conceived, organized and passed because of religion. Plain and simple.

Many people against Prop. 8 would agree with this claim. Let’s just blame the Utah Mormons for an event in California. None of these Utah residents could vote on the California ballot. Sure, they advertised in California, but the voters ultimately decided to uphold Prop. 8. A percentage of Californians were influenced by these TV ads, but in the end, the Mormons didn’t have a say in California voting. They fund raised the same way that Prop. 8 opponents made their views known.

At the end of the day, anyone in exact accordance with LeaderofMan’s theory is just trying to blame the gay marriage ban on anyone but Californians.

Good Morning America just broadcast a video documentary about the secret sex lives of teenage girls. Besides revealing that girls are having sex at a younger age, the video states that many young women engage in sexual activity in exchange for new clothes and handbags.

To be honest, some aspects of this video feel obvious. At the same time, some of the interviewed girls shamelessly brag about their disgusting, unusual behavior (which goes beyond just having premarital sex in high school), and I conclude that they just want attention. My advice to the worry-wart parents out there: Don’t fret over this documentary. A lot of these girls just wish their lives could be like the 2003 film, Thirteen.

If the University of Arizona can have a Women’s Resource Center, then University of Chicago men are entitled to Men in Power, a student organization that promises to help men get ahead professionally.

Sharlene Holly, associate dean of students and the director of student activities, said the University of Chicago has approximately nine women’s advocacy groups on campus; this group would be the first male advocacy group.

But of course, there is dissent:

The group’s emergence has been controversial, with some critics charging that its premise is misogynistic.

Jessica Pan, president of Women in Business and a fourth-year student, questioned whether Men in Power’s goals were being met by existing student groups.

“I’m not sure we really need another student organization that focuses on pre-professional development for men,” Pan said, noting that, in just the area of business, there were five or six students groups that were gender-neutral.

Guess what? Gender-neutral is not synonymous to sexist.

More power to these men. They welcome women to this group, so what’s the problem?

California may have upheld the gay marriage ban a few days ago, but Los Angeles teens at Fairfax High just elected a male prom queen.

Sergio Garcia, a gay student, beats out the female candidates. His campaign started out as a bit of a stunt, but it ended up generating dialogue about gender roles on the L.A. campus.

Garcia, 18, spent most of his years at Fairfax openly gay and wanted to be part of the Los Angeles school’s prom court — but not as prom king. He felt that vying for prom queen would better suit his personality, so he decided to seek that crown, running against a handful of female classmates.

A few days before the dance and election, the contenders gave short speeches on why they deserved the crown.

“At one time, prom may have been a big popularity contest where the best-looking guy or girl were crowned king and queen. Things have changed and it’s no longer just about who has the most friends or who wears the coolest clothes,” Garcia told the crowd of seniors. “Sure, I’m not your typical prom queen candidate. There’s more to me than meets the eye.”

You’re all going to hate me. I’m going to have to disagree with his decision to run for queen. Even if he’s gay and associates with the female gender, he’s still a man at the end of the day, so he should have run for prom king. It’s unfair to elect two men. He had every right to run, but by running for prom queen, he took all the girls’ chances to win.

I have a problem with the women getting short-changed. He could still be homosexual and try to become prom king. If anything, winning that would be more of an accomplishment for the LGBT community because it would show that a gay man can win the same award that the macho jocks generally receive.

At least some people agree with me on this:

Although many students were supportive of Garcia’s run, others were upset and didn’t understand why Garcia chose to run for prom queen.

“I’m not really happy about that. He should’ve run for prom king,” said 17-year-old senior Juan Espinoza.

Espinoza said he has nothing against Garcia but believes many students voted for him as a joke so they could see the prom king dance with another guy on prom night.

One member of the prom court also said she didn’t think it was right for a male student to take the crown.

“Gender-bending is just kind of in,” said Virginia Uribe, founder of Project 10, which is an on-site support program for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth.

So is it right for people to gender-bend just to be cool? It’s never right for anyone to blindly follow the in-crowd. Anyone who mindlessly partakes in socially progressiveness is just as moronic as the ignorant racist who has never been exposed to diversity. In five words: Don’t jump on the bandwagon.

By electing a male prom queen, Fairfax High School liberated the gay community by further punishing another subordinate group.

Even though American Idol has been on the air for far too many years, it still manages to produce countless celebrity sensations every year. Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, and other American Idols have greatly contributed to the pop music industry over the past seven years. Season after season, we’ve learned that Idol contestants don’t have to win the show in order to have a successful entertainment career.

Say what you want about ex-Idol contestant, Sanjaya Malakar, but he’s been accomplished in the entertainment industry since being eliminated off Idol in 2007. He recently put out a memoir called Dancing to the Music in My Head, and he’s about to join Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt on the NBC summer reality show I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here,” the celebrity version of Survivor.

Katharine McPhee, who lost the fifth season of Idol to Taylor Hicks, put out an album of her own and landed a key role in the 2008 House Bunny. Clay Aiken, season two runner-up, was ultimately more successful and popular than winner Ruben Studdard. Where the Hell is Ruben, anyway? Season five contestant, Kellie Pickler co-wrote her song with major country/pop artist, Taylor Swift.

Whether or not you like to watch American Idol, it stimulates the entertainment business.

I’m one of those people who has loved The Notebook since it came out in theaters in 2004. I’ve memorized all the lines, and far too often, I’ve compared my high school relationship to the couple in the film.

But I’ve recently noticed a huge problem with the Notebook relationship. As I’ve said before, I’ve experienced something similar, so the film is cute. That being said, I know how frustrating the one-dimensional Notebook relationship actually is, and I know that it usually doesn’t last forever if there is no intellectual depth between the two. I dated a guy for a really long time in high school, and we had excellent chemistry, but we couldn’t talk about things. I’ve always considered myself a thoughtful, curious person, and he was intelligent, but he refused to talk about more than the events of his day-to-day life. We couldn’t discuss things that matter, and eventually, I got tired of talking to a guarded wall who underestimated my intelligence.

The relationship is the same in The Notebook, only Noah never tells Allie that she isn’t good enough. Even so, the couple doesn’t have anything in common. They just like being intimate and having light conversation. Sounds a little bit too familiar. Of course the characters love each other, but the movie doesn’t tell you that love only goes so far when two people don’t have anything to talk about.

A stronger romance movie is Adventureland. The leading male is fascinated by Kristen Stewart’s character. They get to know each other on an intellectual level before dating. The same physical chemistry is there, but the conversational connection gives the relationship more substance, which is crucial to keeping the couple eternally happy. Trust me, you need both aspects, and I wouldn’t want to be deficient in either.

I don’t want to bash The Notebook, it’s still a great movie that I’ll re-watch for many years to come, and some people don’t mind having a slightly shallow romance, but I’ve learned through experience that there’s more to dating than chemistry. If you have nothing to talk to your significant other about, you’re going to get bored.

The California Supreme Court upheld a voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage Tuesday, but it also decided that the estimated 18,000 gay couples who tied the knot before the law took effect will stay wed.

Demonstrators outside the court yelled “shame on you!”

Even RINO, Meghan McCain expressed her disappointment on Twitter:

Seriously California, what the f—? I can’t believe the ban was upheld…we have to keep fighting!!! Gay marriage will be passed!!!

I’ll be honest- I have never had a bigoted bone in my body. I have many gay friends and I hate to see them slighted, but Californians and Americans should realize that the majority of California voted in favor of Prop 8, which “restricts the definition of marriage to opposite-sex couples and eliminated same-sex couples’ right to marry, thereby overriding portions of the ruling of In re Marriage Cases.”

Maybe California isn’t as liberated as everyone would like to believe.

As much as I support gay marriage and equality, I’m tired of people using this ban as an excuse to seem socially evolved and above it all. Go on Facebook and you’ll see your friends posting statuses such as:

California is embarrassing! No on Prop 8 AGAIN???? F—in idiots. Iowa is more liberal than you guys now…

Shame on the California Supreme Court.

Wow, California.

Do these people really care that much, anyway, or are they just trying to appear compassionate on Facebook and Twitter? As I’ve said before, there are three types of liberals in my book. There are people who identify with liberalism when they actually don’t know anything about politics. There are legitimate liberals who are well-informed. Then there is my personal favorite-People who say they’re liberal just so other people will think they’re decent human beings. The same can be said about conservatives who either don’t know what they’re talking about or who say they’re conservative to uphold a certain image.

Sometimes, I think these individuals who complain about gay marriage bans are what I like to call fake liberals who just want to seem like caring people. Obviously, not everyone is like that, but if you’re not going to vote on the ballot, and if you’re going to instead brag on Twitter that you’re passionate about allowing gay marriage, you’re not giving your all to this cause.

With that being said, I’m sad for my homosexual friends who would like to someday marry men. But I’m not going to broadcast my disappointment via Facebook and Twitter so everyone can see how good of a person I am.

Normally, I wouldn’t comment on anyone’s loss of virginity, but The Daily Beast just blogged about the confidence issues involved with Brooke Shields’s loss of virginity at age 22, and I feel obliged to opine on the psychology behind the general idea:

When asked about her biggest health regret, Shields responded, “Not learning to love the way I looked earlier. And I think I would have had sex a lot earlier! I think I would have lost my virginity earlier than I did at 22.”

Here’s the thing-I don’t think that having sex equates to being confident. Some of my most insecure friends had sex at age 14, and of course they loved the way they looked, but they weren’t big on self-respect. Shields should not view her relatively late loss of virginity as an embarrassment. In today’s overly sexual American culture, it’s enlightening to hear about women and men waiting longer to cash in their v-cards. Teenagers today seem too desensitized to sex, and sleeping around can actually have serious psychological repercussions.

To be honest, I do think it’s better to wait until at least adulthood (age 18) to have sex. High school seems too young. Who really wants to lose his virginity in the backseat of a car, or at home while hoping to God that his parents don’t show up early from work?

Anyone who waits a little longer to have sex should not blame the issue on self-confidence. Some of the most self-conscious people have sex at a young age.

My 21st birthday is two months away, and many older friends have told me that it’s the most bittersweet birthday. In less than a year, I’ll be done with college and off to work. Most people are on the same path, unless they put off the real world by traveling for a year, going to graduate school, volunteering in Africa, or teaching English in a foreign country. Either way, reality awaits us all around the same age.

Movies like Revolutionary Road and American Beauty explore how depressing suburban life can be. To be honest, I think Revolutionary Road belongs in the horror film genre. Both movies follow the lives of bored 9-5 workers who seek something more out of life, and in the end of each film, a main character dies dramatically. Kevin Spacey’s character hates how predictable his life has become, so he obsessed over a 16-year-old cheerleader. Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio are unhappy with the inevitable path they’d taken, so they fantasize about moving their children to Paris for a year, and they’re happiest as a couple while planning out their move.

Thankfully, Office Space and The Office have a more humorous take on the same lifestyle. It’s scary to think that the rest of our lives may be devoted to desk jobs or work in general, but is this something to mope about?

It would be nice to enjoy life without having to worry about a job. Think of how much more we’d all do for ourselves and for our families and friends. We would travel everywhere, sleep more often, likely live longer, have more time for physical fitness, and pick up more hobbies. But would it all seem so great if we didn’t have to work for any of it?

The only reason I truly enjoy my time off school and work is because I’ve had to work incredibly hard in the past. Last summer, I interned for 40 hours a week at Townhall. For a 19-year-old, the idea of working 40 hours a week is unsettling. But because of these hours, I learned to appreciate the money I made and the time I had with my friends.

Anyone who has been in this position probably agrees. We’ll work insanely hard after college, but we’ll be rewarded in paychecks, which will in turn allow us to live in our homes, visit our families on the weekends, and go out with our friends one evening a week. It’s very possible to love life after college.

If we’re not meant to enjoy our lives after age 21 or 22, we’d be miserable for the rest of our lives. Most 50-year-olds don’t seem that unhappy to me, unless they’re unsatisfied in general.

If the idea of working so much frightens someone, then he should make sure that he likes his job of choice. It’s also realistic to say that he can learn to like that job someday.

In the end, I’d really hope that people don’t stop being happy simply because they have to get full time jobs. Why can’t they also appreciate the joy that comes out of creating families? It’s a different excitement than going out drinking, but people evolve. I loved running through mud puddles when I was 7 years old. It’s fun to think about doing it again, but I’ve found other ways to enjoy myself since the second grade. The only constant is change, so we must adapt and quit fearing the unstoppable.