Day Four of my observations on Brother Jed Smock’s preaching at the University of Arizona:
“Why do you come day after day if you hate my beliefs? Because you’re drawn to me like a magnet!” Brother Jed Smock fired back at one of the many UA students who violently disagrees with his proselytizing and notably bizarre manner of spreading religion.
“JESUS LOVES ME AND I LOVE SEX,” a UA sophomore screamed as she walked away from Heritage Hill, where the audience of at least 60 people sat.
“Back in college, I would have run after her!” he said, recalling his sinful Delta Upsilon fraternity days at Indiana University.
There were two incorrigible audience members from today’s session with Brother Jed. A California marijuana addict interrupted and screamed at Jed and wife, Cindy every time they spoke, so I’m going to refer to him as “California Boy.” His speech dripped with pomposity to the point of nausea, but I’ll try to maintain some professionalism as I describe him in this opinionated blog.
For two hours, California Boy jeered at Brother Jed and Cindy. He said he smokes weed every day, his throaty shouting voice indicative of this, and he kept reminding everyone that he has a lot of sex, clearly boasting or lying about his alleged Casanova tendencies rather than making a point. He swore to an unnecessary extent, he called Cindy a “f***ing b****, and spewed verbal abuse which the Women Resource Center would find appalling.
Men are punished for verbally and physically harming women, yet this pathetic-excuse-for-a-college-man gets away with yelling in Cindy Smock’s face and calling her a whore, b****, idiot, and dumba**. Why do so many college students side with this young guy’s arrogant, disgusting behavior simply because it’s directed at religious extremists? If you ask me, he’s on the same level as any verbally abusive man, and as a self-respecting female, I would never date a guy who presents himself in such a deplorable, cocky, hypocritical manner.
“You’re going to burn, baby, burn,” Sister Cindy said to California Boy.
“Jesus told me you’re a f***ing idiot!” he yelled, and then preached in support of sex and drugs.
“How does it feel to be inferior to your husband?” A student asked with a smile on her face.
“I don’t have a problem with that,” Cindy said. “My husband is very intelligent. He taught me everything I know and he gave me permission to come here and speak.”
The crowd laughed as you can imagine, and then Cindy went on to say she thinks that all women want to get married and have children since it’s their only purpose in life. Even the femi-nazi’s secretly strive for this lifestyle, according to Sister Cindy.
“I used to be a wicked, evil woman until Brother Jed came to my college campus and saved me!”
“So do you have any STD’s?”
After a pause, she replied, “I was a bad girl before STD’s came out.”
“You’re a f***ing c*nt!” one student yelled from the Hill, and even California Boy agreed this comment was inappropriate.
As Cindy started reading Luke 12:54, a male UA student picked up Cindy’s large soda and spit into it. The crowd cheered, but the Smock family was not happy. Brother Jed’s 17-year-old daughter descended the hill and poured the coca-cola onto the asphalt.
California Boy started talking to young Smock as she climbed onto the hill.
“Is that your mom?” he asked.
“Do you understand why they’re doing this?”
“They want to save souls,” she said, emotionless.
“Do you believe we’re all going to Hell?”
“Yes,” she said, grinning. That’s when I decided to cut in.
“Is it hard for you to watch everyone bash your family?” I asked.
“No, I’m used to it. They’ve been bringing me to college campus preachings since I was born,” she said before joining her father at the top of the hill.
This is off-topic, but I have to say that the Smock girls are very pretty, at least in my opinion. As you’ll see below, their looks spark more discussion, but more than anything, I sometimes wonder what their love lives are like. They’re more attractive than the average female, but they’re probably not allowed to date. Their parents oppose pre-marital kissing, so you can say these girls are missing out on a lot because of family beliefs. They’re also home-schooled, and I can’t imagine what their social lives must be like. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re entirely devoted to their parents, especially since they go on all the college campus tours. Can you imagine being stuck with your family 24/7 without any real friends or outside connections?
Jed is the only male in his immediate family, and his daughters and wife wear skirts that hang just above their ankles and over-sized t-shirts, which hide all female curves. As I’ve said before, some people may think it’s immoral to raise these girls with narrow-minded, radical Christian values, but this is how others are, and they’re not going to change. If the girls like their lives, they don’t need to be told that they have horrible parents and a bad upbringing. Everyone lives differently. The Smocks just picked an uncommon way of life.
California Boy turned to Cindy, who was finishing up some bible passages on judgment.
“Why do you subject your children to this?” he asked.
“They’re here to meet losers like you and see how evil you are,” Cindy said.
“Really? She thought I was cute,” California Boy said, his self-absorbed personality coming out.
“No, you thought she was cute and you wanted to get in her pants because she’s purer than the whores you’ve been screwing! You’re self-centered, egotistical, condescending, high-minded, and arrogant! God is not impressed, Pothead!”
A few minutes later, I saw Sister Cindy shading her eyes, and it was because three UA students decided to hold the backs of CD’s in Cindy’s direction so strong sun beams would shine in her face.
I found this to be extremely inappropriate, so I marched to the top of the hill and confronted the three laughing boys, who watched Cindy struggle to keep the sun out of her eyes.
“You do know that you’re being very immature, right?” I asked.
“Yes,” one guy said.
“I know you think she’s crazy, but you can do serious damage to her vision if you guys don’t stop this. It’s one thing to yell at Jed and his family, but it’s another to try to hurt them.”
“We’re not going to do it anymore,” another guy said, embarrassed.
Two out of the three guys I yelled at set down their CD’s, but one continued holding up his CD, which sparkled in the sunlight. I felt like I was hitting my pre-motherhood days, scolding a bunch of boys for being mean. I am proud of myself for calling them out because very few people would do that in defense of the Jed Smock family. I always have to stand up for the underdog in some way, and I will not tolerate physical harm. Jed’s daughter approached the guy still holding up his CD and kindly asked that he put it away, and he listened.
After a while, I migrated to the Pride Alliance angels, who stood behind Sister Cindy. Bible Boy from yesterday’s blog post spoke out against the angels. He wore a black t-shirt that read EX-PORN ADDICT.
Bible Boy is an advocate for Brother Jed, and he has similar if not identical beliefs on Christianity. I came into a conversation between Bible Boy and another male UA student. They were talking about masturbation, which Bible Boy thinks is a sin.
“You don’t think it’s okay to masturbate?” I asked.
“But what about blue balls?” I asked, unsure of how to professionally phrase my question, which is legitimate. How can masturbation be such a sin if men (and women) have to do it for health purposes?
“You can only get blue balls if you are aroused for a long period of time. I avoid that.”
“He hasn’t had blue balls since I bent over in front of him,” one guy added with a laugh.
The best part of the entire day was when ten male students stripped down to their shorts and danced in a circle around Brother Jed, grinding up on him and gyrating their hips. Jed stood there like a stone before yelling, “HOMO’S! HOMO’S! HOMO’S!”
The creator of this Facebook group planned the whole thing, but I hope he knows it’s been done before.
There’s nothing anyone can do to shock Brother Jed. Even if he acts surprised and horrified by a gay couple kissing or a bunch of half naked guys, he’s seen it happen hundreds of times. Jed has been doing this for nearly forty years. He probably isn’t offended by much anymore despite his expressive reactions.
“We’re coming back next week!” Jed screamed, pointing his finger at the crowd. Let’s hope so. I’m getting used to this unusual entertainment between classes.