Brother Jed Visits the UA 2010: Becoming a softie?

When Brother Jed Smock visited the UA campus last semester, he incited a lot of anger, tension, excitement, and insanity from the student population. Just read my Brother Jed Chronicles. People yelled, threw objects, stole Jed’s chair, flashed CD’s into Jed’s eyes, and were all-around highly disrespectful.

Times have changed, it seems.

Students are much tamer this year, and people are committing fewer acts of violence against Jed. There’s definitely a lot of arguing and laughing, but the discussions remain fairly respectful.

I talked to Jed Smock during his half hour break this afternoon, and he seemed really exhausted. As he told the UA students five minutes earlier, he is soft spoken, reserved, and zen outside of his preaching persona. It’s shocking to see Brother Jed behave so relaxed after watching him shout into a crowd.

“I can’t sing the ‘Gay Song’ anymore, what if some gay person heard it and got offended and committed suicide? I can only sing it with permission of the gay community.

“I don’t want to sing it every day, the people will be bored with it.”

During Jed Smock’s sitting out session, Brother Roy took over. The overall student population didn’t seem happy about this.

“Go away! Get out of here! We like Jed better!” said one girl in a shrill voice.

“Yeah, come on, Jed, this guy sucks!” another student said.

“I’m taking a break,” Jed responded, hands folded as he sat in his black stool.

The ASUA Pride Alliance angels stood in front of Heritage Hill, intending to block Jed’s performance from the view of passersby.

As the afternoon wore on, up to seventy people gathered around to watch Jed’s preaching. Character actors dressed as Mario and Luigi passed around PSU game cube coupons to students on Heritage Hill, other religious figures came to talk with students, and students spontaneously gathered in many different groups to have break-out discussions about religion. Say what you will about Brother Jed, but it’s very rare for one individual to spark so much dialogue in one setting.

“I love today. This is one awesome day. Mario and Luigi are here, Brother Jed is screaming at the world, the Pride Alliance members are standing their ground, (Brennan Vincent) is carrying around a sign of two kissing women. This is perfect. I just texted my friends about how great today is,” one guy explained.

“Bro J is the shit,” another sign holder said.

“I hope you people who engage in anal intercourse give one another good enemas before you do that,” Jed told the audience, and everyone laughed.

What would Brother Jed’s campus visit be without shock-value statements?

“Do you realize how offensive the ‘Gay Song’ is to gay people?” Jed asked the crowd.

“Do you care?”

“Yes.”

“That’s a fucking change.”

“Well, I’m more sensitive than I used to be,” Jed said.

The funniest part of the day had to be when Brother Jed did a sexual intercourse demonstration with his hands. There’s no way I can describe it, nor should I.

“Don’t you ladies need to start thinking about marriage?” Jed asked everyone.

“You girls need to think about becoming mothers.”

“I hope I’m not remembering wrong, but, how can I say this, do you belong to that group?” Jed asked one girl whom he recognized.

“Yes, I am a lesbian,” she answered.

Last year, the same girl shouted in Jed’s face for a week straight. Not today. I hate to say I was a little disappointed at the lack of drama.

“I’m afraid you girls are going to end up as old maids. And some of you have lost your maidenhood. So you may end up as old hags,” Jed Smock told us.

Good to know.

“Girls, do not let any boy touch you. You think you have a boyfriend, but he’s actually your boy enemy. A true friend, girls, will encourage you to be virtuous. I’m the best friend most of you have,” Jed said.

Jed’s wife and two daughters will be on campus tomorrow, and I’ll be interviewing them for a Wildcat news feature. Let’s just see if the family’s presence will create more insanity among the audience. One student argued that Cindy is even crazier than Jed, and tomorrow could reveal whether or not this statement is true.

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