Restore sanity and/or fear, keep fear alive rally

Sign from the rally

Don’t forget to read up on my double byline piece about the Comedy Central Party.

I’m not sure if sanity was successfully restored, especially considering the fact that a diabetic woman passed out in my metro train, which was already overcrowded, without air conditioning, and full of anxious people. New Yorkers everywhere were complaining about how much they hate D.C. and its transit system, and last night, someone was “struck by a train” at Metro Center, which, as you can imagine, is the center of the Washington Metro Area Transit Authority. How much do you want to bet that person was a tourist?

On my way to the rally, some girl creeped up behind me and whispered into my hair (yes, my hair, NOT my ear), “I don’t mean this offensively, but I’m surprised by the amount of old people at this rally. I figured it would all be people our age.”

Later on, I chatted with an older man who said, “This is the microcosm of America. Not a bunch of old fuddy-duddy tea baggers.”

A teenage Virginia girl also described Jon Stewart as “the most adorable old man ever” before going on to disparage tea partiers for being “dumb and closed-minded.”

Oh, and in the morning, children everywhere were crying and pouting because they were chilly and bored, but can you blame them? Their parents brought them out to a rally in freezing weather conditions (at least for the first part of the day), and most kids don’t have the attention span, patience, or intellect to appreciate such an experience.

All I can say is this: D.C. will be a much calmer city when all the imported rally attendees leave the premises.


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