“Laura, you meet more strange people than anyone else I have ever met in my entire life.” -Scott McGrath
Scott has a point. As I’ve said many times, one of the biggest downsides of living in DC is that there aren’t very many odd characters in the city. You might disagree, especially if you have knowledge of the troubled homeless population, but there are
definitely a lack of “crazy funny” folks in DC. I used to bump into unusual people all the time in Arizona and California, so I’m sure you can understand the boredom I experienced when presented with a pool of relatively normal individuals on the east coast.
Well, this wasn’t the case yesterday, when I stepped into Dulles airport believing I’d have a drama free flight experience.
As soon as I got to my gate, a bunch of middle school students sat next to me and began screaming at each other.
“You burped on me food!”
“Yeah, well YOU insulted my food and cheese sauce!”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the sophomoric discussion, but this is why I’d make a horrible teacher. Instead of discouraging kids from misbehaving, I’d encourage it with my laughter.
One of the girls noticed my University of Arizona sweater and said, “I’m going to study there someday!”
“Oh really? What year are you?” I asked.
“I’ll graduate high school in 2015.”
That’s quite a long time. A few minutes later, I walked over to Capitol Grounds Coffee and grabbed a generic water bottle. After I got to the cash register, the male cashier stared at me for 10 seconds without a word.
“Okay, how much do I owe you?” I asked.
“Nothing. Your purchase is free today.”
“Really?” I asked.
He shook his head, smiled, and said no. Then he began pointing and laughing at me, demonstrating less maturity than the junior high school students I’d just seen.
“That’s not cool,” I said.
“I just wanted to see your teeth,” he said, to which his female colleague turned to me and said, “He’s so not funny, right? Not one bit.”
To make matters worse, the Southwest Airlines workers asked to see my ID before boarding the plane, as if security checkpoint ID verification just won’t cut it anymore.
At the end of the 4 hour flight, the Southwest flight attendant said over the loud speaker, “Well that was such a smooth landing, give your pilot a round of applaud for it!”
Since when is it a privilege and luxury to have a safe landing?!?! I guess that low standard commenced after this airline had a roof blow off it’s aircraft mid-flight. Hooray for mediocrity!
For my second flight, an old New Yorker guy glanced at my boarding pass and said, “Is your boarding pass number the same as your age?”
“If I look 30, I’m in trouble, ” I said to him.
Call me sensitive, but that was beyond disrespectful and awkward. Never ask a woman how old she is, and if you do, don’t use the airport as an excuse to be a total creepshow.