Beauty hurts, Baldwin gets away with trash talking HuffPo

Need your daily dose of celebrity news? Check out some Daily Caller links for the latest in Hollywood gossip:

1. Alec Baldwin trashes Huffington Post readers…again. PETA speaks out on the matter.
2. Lady Gaga discusses Amy Winehouse’s death, inevitably makes the tragedy all about herself. (Story by Nikki Grey)
3. Cat that looks like Hitler has found a new home!
4. Taylor Swift pays late night visit to Lincoln Memorial after D.C. concert.
5. Charlie Sheen’s character to die on next season of “Two and a Half Men.”

Here’s today’s list of bat-shit crazy Google search terms that people used to arrive at my blog (Note—Some of these are from last month):

roomie burger
jerkoff instructors
daily caller cub laura donovan
בא של נמו
thai food resembling pigs feet
how long do creepers last?
scooter hockey rules
moldy cheese
yoga themed cupcakes
lara logan’s butt (WOW 😦 )
uqu
girlfriend study abroad weight gain
february 23rd brother jed daughter punches guy in face
is it socially acceptable for a 60 year old woman to have long hair?
girls
smile teeth arch
fear of not having friends after college
wait for your turn rule; preschool
a another day our dream 80er
italy sex fuk naked (UM?)
postal worker accused of stealing breakup book
“clipped his toenails”
josh and mia at the beach party in princess diaries
bad teacher feet
tv ad’s type are not useful
cameron diaz broken her toe
cubs story with laura love castro
effi laura donovan nee kennemer

Oh crazies, how I love you.

At the moment, my mom is super proud of me because I booked an appointment for a pedicure, which I haven’t gotten done professionally since prom. In high school, I blindly frequently went to the salon for a mani/pedi combo, always wishing I could jump out of the chair and write something instead. Unfortunately, the whole wet nails condition prevented me from doing that. My mom, a former Miss San Diego State, influenced my salon trips, but I realized in college that I was far too lazy to be polished.

This couldn’t have been more obvious than during sorority rush, in which I reluctantly participated as a college sophomore. Some people have filial obligations to earn tons of money. In my family, I had a duty to test the waters of Greek life, which wasn’t for me. I adored Kappa Alpha fraternity, but didn’t have the patience, gracefulness, desire, or fashion sense to join a sorority. When I went through recruitment, I forgot to paint my toes or fingernails. I later found out that the majority of sorority houses will automatically cut a potential new member for failing to get a mani/pedi for the shallow try-out process. I’m so glad I never ended up following in my mom’s sorority footsteps.

At the end of the day, I have a lot of respect for the women who make an effort to look nice on a daily basis. This has never really been a priority for me, as high heels are painful to wear, I’m too type-A to sit around while others paint my nails, and my claustrophobia hinders me from stepping into a tanning salon.

Since my toddler days, I’ve done the bare minimum for dressing well. When I was three years old, I remember crying inconsolably as my best friend Lillie’s mom brushed my matted dark red locks after a fulfilling day at the river. Several minutes into the agonizing experience, I pleaded with Maryanne to please stop untangling my hair.

“I don’t care if it’s messy, you’re hurting me so much,” I said, choking on my own sobs.

“Laura, have you ever heard of the phrase, ‘beauty hurts?'”

“No,” I said, shaking my head.

“Don’t you want to be pretty like Belle?” she asked, referring to my favorite Disney heroine.

“Of course,” I said.

“Well Belle wasn’t born beautiful. She has to wear nice dresses, take baths, and comb her hair. If you want to look like her, you might have to shed a few tears along the way.”

Maryanne couldn’t reason with me at the time, but I never forgot what she said. After all, looks were important in my first hometown of Los Angeles, so I spent my early years around people whose lives revolved around shopping, working out, and beach bumming.

At 23, I realize I need to make more of an effort if I want to get ahead in my career, especially on the east coast. I’m going to swallow my pride and walk around in heels at least once a week. I’ll make a trip to the nail salon each month. There’s no chance in Hell I will ever visit the tanning salon, but I’ll certainly continue to get my hair colored every few months. I enjoy highlighting my hair, so that’s not changing. I’ll shop at all the same places but cut down on all the sweaters. As a colleague told me in March, it’s important not to look so cold all the time.

Besides, if I ever go to New York someday, I’ll need to step up my game. There’s no way I could ever blend into that crowd, but I could roam the city with more confidence.

In twenty minutes, I’m retrieving California Crystal from the airport. Unsurprisingly, we text messaged throughout the day. She was in a humorously terrible mood this evening, especially before getting on her connecting plane. An hour ago, she wrote in a text, “Are there a lot of nerds in D.C.? I’m noticing a trend as I board this flight.” As the saying goes, the nation’s capital is Hollywood for the ugly. Luckily for me, I’m drawn to the less-than-attractive nerds, so I fit right in. I’ll fill you in on Crystal’s assessment later this week.

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