As noted in today’s earlier blog post, my friend Lisa and I crossed paths with some serious creeps last night. During a walk to the bar, a pack of young men swarmed and chucked rocks at us after we ignored their persistent catcalls. I felt like I was in junior high school again, only this time I wasn’t being bullied senselessly. We were bothered for declining the advances of violent, pushy young men.
Thankfully, we caught the attention of a taxi driver and were out of the weird area within seconds. Of course, the night was still young at that point and we had plenty more oddballs to meet.
Shaken up, Lisa and I huddled together in the back of the bar and discussed what had just happened to us. Moments later, a random guy came up to us and asked for our names.
“Laura and Lisa,” I said.
“Wow, no way. I grew up with a Laura and a Lisa,” he said, his eyes glazed over. “Only you two are way prettier than they were.”
“I’m sure you tell that to all the girls,” Lisa said.
“No,” he went on. “I loved Laura and Lisa. They were like, the hot older girls you always want to date. But they were cougars. Are you guys cougars?”
“No,” I replied, laughing. “I can imagine it’s pretty hard to be a cougar at age 23.”
“Yeah, unless you date a 15-year-old,” he continued, “but I’m sure you wouldn’t do that.”
The conversation was going nowhere, but he kept going.
“So you’re from DC?” he asked.
“Nope,” I responded.
“If you’re not FROM DC, why are you HERE?”
“For jobs,” I said. “DC is full of transplants, you know.”
The concept of relocation made no sense to him, and he continued with the long-winded small talk, so Lisa and I ran to the bathroom a few minutes later.
As Derek Dye would say, I can spot creepers from a mile away. It brings me back to a recent episode of “2 Broke Girls” in which pampered Manhattanite Caroline expresses astonishment and disbelief about the streets of Brooklyn.
“I was catcalled ninety times!” she says of her three-block stroll to work. My Brooklyn buddy Hillary says this sort of thing happens to her on a daily basis, so I guess I’d better get used to this then, right?