Jobs I would have considered had I not become a ‘boring writer’

For the umpteenth time this month, one of my bosses called me out the other night for working too late/hard. “This is New York City, Laura, go party,” joked Elizabeth. “Otherwise you’ll become another boring writer!”

Too late, madame! I have chosen such a path for myself, even though I often refuse to check my email over the weekend (this is big for me, as I willingly worked Saturdays and Sundays at the beginning of the year.). I’ve been waiting my whole life to flaunt these stripes, so I’m OK with my profession/one true love appearing to be an obsession.

Though writing is among my few capabilities, there are several other fields of work I’ve considered in the past. If I didn’t write, here are some jobs I’d want to pursue:

1. Commercial producer

Cameron Diaz, a movie trailer creator, in "The Holiday"

Commercials can be annoying and obnoxious, especially the one below, but I’m highly fascinated and intrigued by their sales techniques:

Maybe someday I’ll have the privilege of coming up with story lines for Coca Cola commercials, which are amazing during the holiday season:

My interest extends to advertisements as well. I always catch myself studying H&M and 2(x)ist billboards on my way to work every morning. I’d be an awful salesperson, but I’m obsessed with ads.

2. Dog walker

Toni Collette, "In Her Shoes"

I’m considering finding a weekend job to make some extra cash and help me miss my Jack Russell Terrier less. If I didn’t have a full-time writing position, I’d walk dogs. As much as I love New York City, I miss being surrounded by normal working people, grass, puppies, non-Parisian style (read: tiny and claustrophobic) grocery stores, and happy folks. As I’ve written before, I believe dogs have the sweetest souls of all living beings, so if I had it my way, I’d write books from 5:00-11:00 a.m. and attend to canines for the duration of the day.

3. Comedienne

In junior high and high school, I was really into drama, plays, and acting. At a young age, family members gave me a reality check that I did not have the personality, universal likability, or star quality looks to make it in the entertainment world, so I kind of axed that dream sophomore year. Besides, my heart was always in writing, which is much more accessible and doable for me. Since I was in high school, several less-than-stunning female comedians have thrived in the humor industry, giving me hope that I could someday have a cameo role in a movie like “40 Year Old Virgin,” but I worry I’m too socially awkward to pull that off. At the very least, I could be a female Steve Carell or Jesse Eisenberg. Someday!

Mindy Kaling of "The Office"
I really just want to trade lives with Zooey Deschanel.

4. School teacher

After I explained something extensively to a former colleague, he smiled and said, “Are you going to pat me on the back and read me a story now?” Time and time again, I’ve been told I have the winsome spirit of an elementary school instructor. Up until sophomore year of college, I wanted to teach second grade. As a long-time babysitter and goofy aunt, I’m great with kids and have the energy to entertain them, so I really think I’d enjoy working with children. At the same time, I experience too many bouts of impatience to tackle this position, so I don’t have what it takes to hold the job long-term. More than anything, I’m a sucker for asinine jokes, so I’m more likely to laugh at a silly comment from a 7-year-old than scold him/her for bad behavior. Authoritativeness just isn’t for me!

Seriously Zooey, can we be like those girls on Disney Channel original movie "Wish Upon a Star" and switch places? 🙂

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