Remember when I said I’d be dressing up as Lindsay Lohan circa 2011 for Halloween? I lied. After my roommate pointed out that few are clever enough to process such a subtle outfit right away, I decided to browse some online costumes with her. At first, we mulled over this, but let’s be real here: I lack the necessary amount of sex appeal for such a costume. Not trying to get down on myself here, I’m just more Taylor Swift than Angelina Jolie, and that’s never going to change. Besides, I’m neither tan nor voluptuous so it just wouldn’t work out, even though I have long legs, if I do say so myself. At any rate, I decided on a sailor ensemble, which will surely suit my personality better.
Now I just have to wait 1-6 days to receive the darn thing. Thankfully I purchased it long before October 31, so I’ll have it before any Halloween festivities take place. Yay.
It’s not even November yet, but I’m already in Christmas mode, and by Christmas mode, I mean “Home Alone”-marathon mode. I actually watched it for the first time in months last week, so it’s only fitting that I’m currently having a “Home Alone” moment in my apartment. The heater in my bedroom is screaming at me. Little Kevin from the comedy knows what I’m talking about, and it blows.
I keep worrying that it’s going to explode or something. That’s just neurotic me assuming everything is a major crisis, and though Macaulay Culkin isn’t looking so slick these days, he has a point in “Home Alone” when he tells the loud furnace to just shut up and quit trying to scare him.
So, here’s a message for my noisy, shouty heater: shut up, stop whining about having to work after a five-month vacation, and understand your place. Make another sound and I’ll keep you off the entire winter! Don’t tempt me. I have plenty of blankets and sweaters to keep me warm during the cold months, and if those things don’t do the trick, I’ll just find a cuddle buddy — one who won’t complain about being too hot this time. In my eyes, there is no such thing.