Earlier today, one of my friends G-chatted me about a blind date she’s been trying to set up for me and her cousin. I’m usually lukewarm to situations like that, and it’s partly why I refuse to consider online dating, but setting aside some of my controlling tendencies every once in a while could really benefit me, if anything because I’d gain another funny story to share with friends over G-chat.
Just before we moved on to another subject, my friend said, “So my cousin is going to call you. He wants me to warn you that he plans on actually picking up the phone and calling, not texting, so don’t be freaked out by that.”
My first instinct was to laugh. Why would I be weirded out by someone calling me to schedule a meet-up? Isn’t that how dating is supposed to work?
Not anymore, as demonstrated by my friend’s personal obligation to tell me that I’d be receiving a call. Very few men ask women out the old-fashioned way these days, and because I’m so used to getting the occasional text or G-chat/Facebook chat come-on (side note: please don’t hit on any female over instant messenger. This isn’t middle school circa 2001 and you’re not 13. Grow a pair.), so anytime a member of the opposite sex calls to see about me, I’m stunned and daresay intimidated.
This isn’t to say I want to be called and feel insulted to simply get a text message here and there. I don’t put much thought into the typically meaningless and underwhelming interactions I have with members of the opposite sex, but I do think there’s something to be said about a culture that makes guys feel intrusive for calling rather than texting.
I’ve encountered this a couple of times since moving to NYC. In winter 2011, some finance dude asked for my phone number at a bar. I took down his as well but forgot to log it into my phone, so when he called three days later (the three day rule is no myth, apparently), I was caught off guard and flustered, and he could sense this even over the phone.
“I’m so sorry if I freaked you out,” he said.
“No, it’s cool,” I replied, but it wasn’t, not because he’d called me, but because I had no interest in going on a date with him. Looking back, he probably made it too easy for 23-year-old me. I enjoyed the chase, and to an extent, I still do, but I’m much more flattered by gentlemanly behavior now than I was right out of college.
Anyway, Carly Rae Jepsen had a point when she demanded (in an adorable, charming manner, of course) a phone call…because who calls anyone for a date anymore?
On that note, I deleted Tinder from my phone. Maybe I’m alone in this, but I don’t gain anything from pseudo texting/Facebook chatting random guys who have appealing profile pictures. I much prefer meeting someone out on the town and seeing where the connection goes. When all is said and done, I’m usually disappointed, but at least I had actual face time with a guy, and no, I’m not talking about the iPhone function. I know it’s 2013 and everyone’s addicted to technology and this so-called “hook up culture” that’s slowly but surely destroying America, but I’m fully aware of what I want, and a dating app isn’t going to cut it.