At least it feels that way right now.
I know you were probably looking forward to fewer “poor Laura” posts in 2013, and I apologize for failing to acknowledge the positive so much. Really. Blame it on the summertime blues, the fact that I’ve had terrible July Fourths almost every year of my life (I thought my dog died last year), or the fact that I miss my West Coast crowd, but I’m dreading Thursday the way I dread many holidays with the exception of Christmas and Thanksgiving. July 4 is an incredibly lonely and difficult day for me, and there’s a good chance I’m going to be spending it alone.
Again, sorry if this seems whiny, but as I tell the awesome dudes at my office, it’s healthy to talk about what’s bothering you. I often spend too much time discussing this stuff, but it does help. Besides, I think there’s more to this than simply hating Independence Day. I miss being in close proximity to the people I love most: my best friends from college, childhood, or D.C.
I have a pretty active social life in NYC, but only a handful of people I feel I can call for anything. And, of course, all those guys are out of town for the Fourth or off doing cool things. My coworkers are great, but I feel wrong butting in on their plans with significant others or whatever.
I just wish I lived closer to Nikki and her boyfriend Robby. If we were in the same city, I know I’d always have someone to spend holidays with and wouldn’t feel like such a pest asking, because it would be assumed that we’d hang out that day. I wouldn’t have to scroll through my phone and beg people to fit me in. I’m not near the folks I trust most, and yeah I can make friends and certainly have, but I’m getting a little too old to have to do this. Times like these remind me more than anything else that I probably don’t belong in NYC long-term. As much as I love being in such an environmentally-friendly, progressive, unstoppable city, I can’t appreciate any of it if there’s no one to enjoy it with.
Should have gone to D.C. this year. Derek, Katie, and company, have fun at the Washington Monument! ❤