I wrote a book about wingmen but don’t really have one in NYC

At least it feels that way right now.

I know you were probably looking forward to fewer “poor Laura” posts in 2013, and I apologize for failing to acknowledge the positive so much. Really. Blame it on the summertime blues, the fact that I’ve had terrible July Fourths almost every year of my life (I thought my dog died last year), or the fact that I miss my West Coast crowd, but I’m dreading Thursday the way I dread many holidays with the exception of Christmas and Thanksgiving. July 4 is an incredibly lonely and difficult day for me, and there’s a good chance I’m going to be spending it alone.

Again, sorry if this seems whiny, but as I tell the awesome dudes at my office, it’s healthy to talk about what’s bothering you. I often spend too much time discussing this stuff, but it does help. Besides, I think there’s more to this than simply hating Independence Day. I miss being in close proximity to the people I love most: my best friends from college, childhood, or D.C.

I have a pretty active social life in NYC, but only a handful of people I feel I can call for anything. And, of course, all those guys are out of town for the Fourth or off doing cool things. My coworkers are great, but I feel wrong butting in on their plans with significant others or whatever.

I just wish I lived closer to Nikki and her boyfriend Robby. If we were in the same city, I know I’d always have someone to spend holidays with and wouldn’t feel like such a pest asking, because it would be assumed that we’d hang out that day. I wouldn’t have to scroll through my phone and beg people to fit me in. I’m not near the folks I trust most, and yeah I can make friends and certainly have, but I’m getting a little too old to have to do this.  Times like these remind me more than anything else that I probably don’t belong in NYC long-term. As much as I love being in such an environmentally-friendly, progressive, unstoppable city, I can’t appreciate any of it if there’s no one to enjoy it with.

Nikki

 

Laura and Nikki
Laura and Nikki
Nikki and Laura
Nikki and Laura
Daily Wildcat Awards Ceremony, spring 2010!
Daily Wildcat Awards Ceremony, spring 2010!

Should have gone to D.C. this year. Derek, Katie, and company, have fun at the Washington Monument! ❤

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4 thoughts on “I wrote a book about wingmen but don’t really have one in NYC

  1. New York can be absolutely amazing to meet fantastic, different people. It can also be the loneliest place on the planet… even with 8 million people.

    I’ll admit it. I have felt what you’re talking about. Just stopping and looking at people wandering around can hit in the pit of your stomach in a way that wouldn’t in other parts of the country. Maybe it’s the happy, loving Nora Ephron-like New York mental picture we have when we move to the city.

    The best thing I’ve learned is to just go out and explore the city on my own. Walk in a neighborhood I’ve never been in. Stop in stores, places, locations, things that I normally walk by or never thought about going in and just go. Sure, having someone to enjoy it with is nice. But when you’re by yourself, you see things differently. You can enjoy them differently. It’s not a bad thing… it’s different… and that’s a good thing.

    And a few times I’ve done this, I’ve randomly met some amazing new people. Some of them I call good friends to this day.

    You’re not alone. But enjoy the day on your own. You can choose to enjoy it.

    Have a fantastic holiday week.

    Onward!
    @MattHaze – the mirror selfie king.

  2. Laura,

    It wasn’t much different when I was living in the City. Matt’s right. Get out there and do things that YOU love to do, and you’ll inevitably meet some new, and interesting friends. You may even find out some wonderful new interests that you never thought you had.

    Being alone on a holiday weekend is really not that bad. I’ve spent it catching up with books I’ve always planned to read, snail mail letters I promised to write, and new recipes I wanted to try. Looking back now, some of this “alone” time doing something other than going to the shore, or to a barbecue has been the best spent, creative time on my own terms I can remember..

    Also, don’t give up on NYC too fast. Those years were some of the best of my life, as well as the great stuff in chapters 6 & 7 of the my future best seller!

  3. I’m going to quote Jennifer Lawrence here and say, I VOLUNTEER.
    In all seriousness, I don’t really have a wingman (or woman) either. I’m learning, tentatively, to be my own wingwoman, and eventually, the company I am looking for will come. It’s starting to happen already.

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