Earlier today, one of my friends called me in a state of panic.
“I hope I didn’t offend you the other day when I labeled myself an unemployed loser,” she said.
“Why would I be put off by that?”
“You’ve just been through so many job changes and transitions over the past year and I want to make sure I didn’t hurt your feelings with the ‘unemployed loser’ remark. I was calling myself that, not you.”
“But I am an unemployed loser,” I said before realizing oh wait, that isn’t true anymore. Really. “Underemployed fits the bill, I suppose. But that’s better than before.”
It’s absolutely wild to think about how much has changed over the last year alone. This time last year, I was sweating the summer away in humid, nasty New York City, hating life, losing weight because I was too unhappy to even find joy in food, and screaming in my sleep every night. I’m surprised my roommate Jen never asked me move out. She said I scared and woke her up all the time with my night terrors, which are completely gone now. I have my lovely boyfriend Ian to thank for that. For the longest time, I feared relationships because of how guys would react to my sleep talking/walking issues. Ian assured me he didn’t care if I talked or yelled, he just wanted to be next to me every night, and sure enough, all my anxieties melted when he came into the picture. It wasn’t just him, though. I’m so much more relaxed in California, even though I just shuddered at the sound of my doorbell. If you ever come visit me, call first. Don’t knock on the door. I will probably be too scared to let you in. Hey, you could be some creeper making the rounds trying to sell me Jesus, Scientology, Jehovah, etc.
That’s a downside of living in the suburbs. I also still can’t believe how much space I have. It’s going to take me a long time to ever be comfortable in a house again. I think NYC might have made me an apartment girl for life. On Tuesday, I thought I was being sung into Hell when I’d really just been woken up by a pack of screaming cats fighting in my backyard at 2:40 a.m. Now that my roommate’s kitty Poopty is gone, the strays think our turf is theirs, and they always battle each other for ownership. I love cats now, but not these monsters. They sound demonic when they wail at odd hours. For a second, I thought there was a witch ceremony or something behind my home. No, just a bunch of hostile felines with territorial issues and lots of rage.
Now that I’ve gotten some solid rambling in, I’ll circle back to the point of this post, which was to update you on my life or whatever. I’m working at a casting studio right now and contributing to HG as always. I’ve never loved anything more than I’ve loved writing for them, but you already knew that. I move around a ton at the casting studio, which is super exciting and different than any other place I’ve ever worked. I love the people in the studio and it just feels really good to have a tad more structure in my life. I can’t say I have a single full-time job, but I’ve successfully made some baby steps towards establishing myself in this crazy industry. I’m writing my own web series, which I do not intend to shoot or produce at this time. I’m just trying to stay busy writing and build up a portfolio for myself.
I’m also wearing glasses now! They hurt my head after a while but I’m adjusting well:
Things are good, but I’m excited about going on vacation with my boyfriend in a few days. Can’t wait to just unwind and enjoy mimosas.
Speaking of things that are hard to believe, I can’t believe I’ve been with this guy for almost nine months now! Here we were in the beginning:
I don’t want to write too much about the dude, as, unlike me, he’s a fairly private individual (opposites attract!), but I will say he’s truly the best part of my life, and I have a lot of positive things going for me. He makes me want to be better every single day, and it took meeting him for me to realize life could be so much more rewarding and fulfilling with the right person. I don’t care if I’m never published again or go completely under the radar. I can have the worst career ever and still be happy because I’ve got him in my life. Love is all that matters to me. I just happen to have other things working out for me now too. I’m not exactly where I’d like to be career-wise, but I’ve come a long way. And I’m so thrilled for what the next year is going to bring.